Monday, February 25, 2013

Week 7: February 25 Weigh-In

Food column: 6 Fs and 1 sticker. MAJOR FAIL!! I was in total rebellion this week. My mood was all over the place. I was making bad decisions….and making them consciously. This is easily my low for the week.

Exercise column: 5 Fs and 2 stickers. FAIL!! One of those stickers was my crowning achievement this week though. Normally I’m on the elliptical for just over 30 minutes. On Saturday, I was on it for 1 hour and 15 minutes! I have never exercised that long on the elliptical before. It was a major mind breakthrough and it proves I am able to do more than I thought I could! It’s definitely my high for the week.

Lose 2.2 lbs this week?: No. I actually gained 2.2 lbs this week. ANOTHER MAJOR FAIL!! I have so many feelings about this week: embarrassment, guilt, sadness, acceptance... But my trainer helped remind me this morning that today is another day full of new choices. I don’t have to wipe the slate clean; it was new when I woke up today. I just need to make different choices and I will get different results. I refuse to waste any more of this week mourning last week. That will only extend all the bad feelings and compound the bad results. I have learned from my mistakes and I’m going to make good choices that will help me achieve what I want.

This week is very important, it is a make or break week. I only have four weigh-ins left and I have 17 lbs to lose to reach my goal. That means I need to lose 4.25 lbs per week for the next four weeks to reach my goal. I am not going to stack four weeks of pressure on my shoulders today, but I do know if I don’t lose 4.25 lbs this week I will not be able to catch up the following three weeks. That means if I don’t lose 4.25 lbs this week, I will not reach my goal 4 weigh-ins from now. It’s that simple.

Losing 4.25 lbs this week will be tough, but I believe I can do it. In week 4 I lost 5.25 lbs. It can be done again! It’s times like these I am thankful I have been keeping this record because I can look back at my habits in week 4 and see why it was so successful. That’s valuable info! That week, I got 6 stickers and 1 F in the food column and all stickers in the exercise column. Using that as my guide, my goal for this week is all stickers in both columns.

Contrasting my best week to my second worst week reminds me of a poem called “If” by Rudyard Kipling. There’s two lines that I can really identify with:
“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same”

I like the idea of Triumph and Disaster being thought of as impostors. I think it’s important to pay attention to both, but where I run into trouble is when I try to wallow in either for extended periods of time. They both deserve their due, but neither is a definition of life since life consists of both. They’ll both trick us and tempt us into trying to live there, but they’re each a season.

It’s funny, even as I’m writing this, I’m tempted to treat only Triumph as an impostor. That might be very telling. Do I have feelings of unworthiness hiding? Interesting…

Total weight loss: 7.35 lbs

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